alcohol are involved. You have to be realistic about sex and know that your ability to resist temptation is not infinite. You have to protect yourself in many ways, not just with a piece of rubber.   Speaking of rubber, what if Tony had added, "And anyway, Im using a condom"? Would that have made it okay?   Not necessarily, because condoms can break or fall off or leak. Even if a condom stays on in one piece, a condom still may not be enough to protect you from STDs.   Whether or not you listen to my advice about forming a relationship before jumping into bed, definitely never put yourself in the type of situation that Fran did. How do you avoid that? Simple . . .   Make yourself a resolution that you will never get undressed until youre sure that doing so is safe. If he starts to unbutton your blouse or she grabs hold of your zipper, tell your partner to stop and explain why youre stopping him or her. Tell him or her that your reluctance isnt because you dont want to become intimate - assuming that you do - but because you need to talk about safer sex first. 276 Part IV: Having a Healthy Sex Life     After having this conversation, you may both decide to renew your activities, possibly stopping at a prearranged point or maybe going all the way, depend- ing on what you said. Whatever the final outcome, at least youll know that the decision was calculated and not left to chance.   Steve and Betsy   Steve and Betsy were in college. They started going out in September, and by October they were in love. They would often wind up in each others rooms for the night and would masturbate each other to orgasm, but Betsy wouldnt let Steve penetrate her with his penis. Steve, who wasnt a virgin, wasnt sure exactly what was going on, and then it hit him: Betsy knew about Steves sexual relationships with other girls and was worried about AIDS.   One night, after they had dinner together in the cafeteria, he took her for a walk to a quiet part of the campus. They sat down on a bench and Steve sprung his surprise. "Ive made an appointment to be tested for AIDS tomorrow." Betsy looked at him for a few moments, not saying anything. Finally she said, "Steve, I hope youre not doing this for me. I love you, I really do, but Im not going to have intercourse with you, or anybody, until